I want "the righteous life that God desires," (James 1:20) for myself, my family, and the rest of the world. I want a good marriage. I want my children to have a wonderful life and experience as they are growing up, one that helps them to understand God, and by understanding Him, to naturally love him.
"By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures." Proverbs 24:3-4
For a married woman, this is the most important thing, besides her own relationship with God, that she has in life to do. It takes wisdom and thought, as well as careful building to have a good home. It doesn't just happen by hoping for it. If she's not careful, and she follows the patterns of the world and society around us, she will end up tearing her house down.
"The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands, the foolish one tears hers down." Proverbs 14:1
One way that a house will be torn down is if it's divided. Jesus stated in Matthew 12:25b, "every city or house divided against itself will not stand." Wives need to be united with their husbands.
It's not wise for her to bring up every little thing that bothers her. Often, it will lead to futile a argument where both parties feel hurt. Proverbs 17:14. "Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out."
Instead, she can decide to overlook the offense. My husband taught me this one;) Proverbs 19:11 "A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense." Jesus did this, leaving us an example. "When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly."
What if her husband is making a decision that she doesn't agree or feel comfortable with? Women are told to have a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:6) "like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear." Do you remember that Abraham let the king take Sarah to be his husband? If she could call him Master, we can pray and quietly put our trust in God.
Below is more advice from Jesus. Yes, He was talking about our enemies, but if she is feeling hurt it can certainly be a good attitude for a wife to have in her relationships with her husband.
Luke 6:27-31. "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you."
We are given the insight, that not forgiving is one of Satan's schemes. 2 Corinthians 2:10-11 Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes."
"Love covers over a multitude of sin." 1 Peter 4:8 What a wonderful truth this is. How beautiful that even if we have been hurt by each other, if we truly forgive one another deeply, from the heart we can continue on in love.
We need to think about what we do and how we react to make sure that we are building and not tearing down. We have to stop and think, "If I do this, will I be building or tearing down our house?"
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